Ready for 2019
When I was a teenager every NYE I loved making long lists of what I had accomplished the year before. To be honest, there weren’t major accomplishments (what can a 15-year old really do?), but they all seemed to matter sooooo much. Something like “I finished the year with all As”, or “I performed in a school play” or even “Finally organized my closet” really felt like important milestones. As we juggle a fast paced life, we look back and think that ,we haven’t done enough. You see everyone posting their lists on Facebook/Instagram about what they have achieved and think, “Damn, I can’t even compete!” Well, if this year taught me anything it’s that I shouldn’t compare. Sometimes getting out of bed is an accomplishment that can equal to someone else moving across the globe.
I’ve heard many people say that 2018 was by far the worst year. I agree. It has been a very hard year. Looking back I actually think that I haven't accomplished much. I started going through my pics on my phone trying to find highlights of 2018, and had to stop myself because the longer I scrolled the more disappointed I felt about myself. We judge our year by what we’ve accomplished, the major events that have happened and the number of goals we can cross off our checklists. But what if this year you haven’t found a new job, haven’t traveled to your dream destination, haven’t lost 30 lbs or saved enough money? Should you really feel like a failure if you haven’t reached your yearly goals?
The other day my friend asked me what I was expecting from 2019, and I, as most of us usually do, came up with a list. Backpacking for a week in Sierra Nevada, getting to my fitness goal, taking salsa and another million things that I pretty much transfer from one year to another. “That’s all good and all”, he said. “But what is your perspective for the year? What is the main thing you want your whole year to be filled with?” And it hit me. Making long lists of goals and accomplishments is awesome, and those highlights are what you remember the most (and share on social media), but what leads to those checkpoints is a whole everyday life full of special moments, struggles, hard work and perseverance. You live today, and marking off a goal isn’t necessarily going to make you feel happiness if you don’t appreciate the process.
That’s my issue. When I have my eyes set on the goal, I go for it tuning everything out of my sight and my hearing. I think, “If I only I can get there, I’ll start feeling happy”. But was I really happy when, let’s say, I received my diploma at my graduation? No, not really. It was almost disappointing because I wanted to feel something, and I didn’t. This has happened to me many times with other goals. While you keep your eye on the prize, so much goes past you that can actually make you happy. The little things that everyday life consists of. A good cup of coffee, a beautiful sunset, your cat purring next to you every morning, or when you make a perfect line with an eyeliner on the first try.
Looking back at 2018 I think it’s not the goals that I haven’t reached that make me feel guilty, it’s the fact that I let myself miss out on moments, days, weeks and even months. I thought I needed to get somewhere faster, to a place where I can breathe and say that’s it, I’ve made it, now I am happy! Well, guess what. Such place doesn’t exist, and life doesn’t stop for you to take a break. When you finish one goal you will move onto another, and another one after. It’s a never ending race (till it actually ends). So instead of making a list of what I want to achieve in 2019, I am open to see where life takes me. I am going to focus on every day and will try to take everything from that day. And if during this process I happen to reach some milestones, then be it. It’s just another turn that would lead me somewhere new, as I drive down the magical road called life.